Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Weekend Highlights (some higher than others)

There is a young man in my congregation who is ill-behaved. I think most of us at least have one where the truth is there is no other underlying reason for his behavior other than (in my humble opinion) lack of discipline. I HATE that he makes me think along those lines because that is SO Old Guard but dammit, if my kid behaves himself, why. can't. yours?

I am usually pretty easy going about kids and the interruptions that come with kids in worship. A dropped hymnal there, the occasional outburst here... whatever. I would rather have the kids in worship. Great.

In the middle of last Sunday's sermon, a pretty good one by the way, this kid to whom I refer comes running in from OUTSIDE the Sanctuary (so he wasn't even in worship), KNOCKS over the stack of tuna that was in the back, realizes he didn't get them all down so HE KNOCKS THEM AGAIN!!! Then he tells his grandmother who has finally caught up to him something and he runs back out of the Sanctuary.

Insert slow boil here....

I'm sorry. The kid is almost 6. That behavior is just not acceptable.

Up until that point the sermon was pretty good. It echoed what I talked about in an earlier post about coming into the light. Here is an excerpt:
It’s a hard thing really, fully trusting in God. It almost seems a bit unfair that the Creator who expects us to trust built in so much angst and anxiety and stress into the Creation.

I was involved in a wedding recently where the mother of the bride handled stress by taking on more things to do. She insisted on making the cake and doing the flowers and planning the reception and numerous other tasks that allowed her to feel like she was in control.

There is nothing like a list with a bunch of checks next to it to make us feel like we are not only accomplishing things in this world, but that we are controlling them… and maybe even controlling the world.

Another way we seek control is by adding rules and hinting at rewards.

This week began an attempt on my part to control the amount of diapers and pull-ups that are purchased for my household and so the rule has been added, “You must use the potty.” I want control of this situation and so I added a rule and I hint at rewards.
Come and speak to me later if you would like to learn how you too can earn ‘The Big Chocolate.’

We add rules and as Christians we so very often dangle out the reward of heaven as if that is really ours to give. In order to control our worlds we make judgment calls on others – we have to, don’t we, someone has to – think of the CHAOS if we don’t start sorting through folks and letting them know where they should be.

The gay man asks, “God, Father… how important am I to you?”
And there is his name inscribed on God’s hand.

And finally, speaking of potty training, quite a few years ago I taught my youngest nephew the crucial lesson "don't pee into the wind". This past weekend his younger brother passed on this great knowledge to my son:

How cute is that?

Here they are cleaning the pool:

I hope your weekend ended on a high note too!


cheesehead said...

Just glad they aren't peeing in the pool. You know what I'm sayin'?

Katharine O'Moore-Klopf said...

Two thoughts:

1. Your son and nephew are adorable!

2. It's possible that Disruptive Boy has an undiagnosed neurobehavioral disorder such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. I speak as one with way too much lay experience, being the sole non-AD/HD-er in the House of AD/HD. Then again, I don't know Disruptive Boy and I am not a physician or psychiatrist.

will smama said...

Katharine, I knew that was going to come up, but decided not to put the following in the post:
a) his physicians say there is no asperger's, ad/hd (although admittedly there could still be something undiagnosed).
b)he behaves when his parents/grandmother are not around and he is given strict boundaries by others in the church.

I would also say that even if he did or does have something diagnosed that it is up to one of his adults in charge to put him in a position to succeed, ie: say 'no' when he wants to come into the Sanctuary in the middle of worship.

Katharine O'Moore-Klopf said...

Yep, setting boundaries is imperative.

God_Guurrlll said...

Ok, because I'm twelve. "you too can earn the big chocolate." in the same paragraph as "you must use the potty." teh hee. teh hee.

Identity Mixed said...

Nothing is cuter than the communal toddler boy pee. As the age, the cuteness fades.

And the boy is 6? Wow.