Monday, April 07, 2008

What I Learned During Spring Break... ummm, continuing education

I am always wary of coming back from an event on only an emotional high. Emotion is good, and sharing them is a HUGE reason why I am better, but actual lessons learned are good too and probably end up going further.

As a Youth Director I veered my kids away from those big events purposefully arranged to whip the kids into a frenzy and then do a huge altar call and watch as peer pressure does its thing... year after year... to the same kids.

It is important to have a passion for God. It is equally important to know that God is there for you even when you don't necessarily 'feel' it. I counted on that BIG TIME during my Holy Weak journey... or as my administrative assistant calls it: The Dark Place.

So, here is what I KNOW thanks to the Big Event:
I don't just enjoy working with a team more than alone, I thrive in it. Right now I don't have a team at work or at home and that is something that eventually needs to change if I am going to be in a really happy, joy-filled place.

No matter the pluses and the conveniences it is time for me to leave this place.

For me, at this stage of life, internet at home is not a luxury, it is a necessity. This is what I told the internet guy and why he came to my house Friday after dinner.

If you are feeling lower and lower because you are seeing yourself from someone else's point of view, then by all means switch viewpoints!

Just because you cannot actually see or touch people does not mean they aren't there, and that they don't care incredibly deeply for you. I was absolutely stunned by how many of the BE participants not only knew who I was and what I was going through but couldn't wait to see me to make sure I was ok. Wow.

In the future, when I should sink I need to fight against lonely and insular and REACH OUT! I realize I have absorbed tdx's 'stay insular' ethic and I need to get out. So, "yes, thank you admin, The Boy and I will come over and play Wii and he can trash your house," and I just invited myself (and the Boy) over to my friend's for pizza tomorrow night so I get to hang out with two of my favorite - okay, my two favorite - local clergy women. Even though it is 45 minutes away. And even though it is last minute. V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!

People who possess the spiritual gift of 'being there' and allow you to swing wildly off center (for me that's loud, constantly talking, and 'because I'm 12' jokes) so that you can return to a healthy center, truly encompass God's grace.

I think what we encountered was Sacred Space; a place to be where we needed to be with no judgment and plenty of mercy. Throw in the midnight buffet and I think I just described the banquet table in heaven.


Songbird said...

Amen to that!

cheesehead said...

I was so glad--so very, very glad for the privilege of sharing that sacred space with you.

You are important to me, and to many others.

DogBlogger said...


Ruby said...

That midnight buffet was a beautiful thing! I am so glad to know you, and was so glad to see that in real life you are way OK.

Katherine said...

I would have loved to have been on that trip; by all accounts, it sounds like a rousing good time.

Though I don't comment often, I'm among the multitude of people who care very much about your okay-ness.


God_Guurrlll said...

To quote my favorite line from the movie Enchanted April, "This place is a big Tub of Love"

It was an honor and a pleasure to meet you. Mean it!

Rev. Sweet said...

Wow, what an incredable post. You have got some amazing self-insight.

I did find what is for you, the wildly off center "I'm 12", part of the trip fun. I was good to cut loose.

Mary Beth said...

you rock. glad you are knowing it.

PIZZA! Woot!

Mrs. M said...

"If you are feeling lower and lower because you are seeing yourself from someone else's point of view, then by all means switch viewpoints!"

This is the wisest thing I've seen in some time. Thanks for sharing it.

Crimson Rambler said...

Thank you so much, ws, there is a lot here I needed to hear for ME too.

Sue said...

Thanks. I needed this today.

zorra said...

I'm missing the IRL lido deck aft, too. I think we will need a long time to keep processing everything we gained from the BE.

I'm SO glad you're feeling so much better.

mid-life rookie said...

I'm with you on the emotional high thing. Trying to figure out how to maintain the fun/joy thing and keep up with the daily grind. Glad you learned so much by being twelve. Glad you are getting out among friends at home. Blessings,

imngrace said...

I needed to hear you today. Glad that your viewpoint is changing and that you are discerning what is next.

Cathy said...

Some very very wise words in this here post. You said some things that you are experiencing that I went through when I was in the throws of divorce.

I would have loved to have been with you and to have met you also. Every single thing you said in this post is so very true. Been there, am there.

Looking forward one day to meeting you irl.

Crimson Rambler said...

Dear WS, as long as someone puts our napkins in our laps at the midnight buffet...
I have invented a "blogthing" to indicate that, I hope:

L<* (i.e. Lap + napkin + server)

does it work?

will smama said...

cr, very nice... thank you.

Thanks everyone for pulling for me - rowing - it feels good to be back.

Hot Cup Lutheran said...

takes courage to step out of what might feel safe... and to reach for that which will truly, truly make us happier and more joy-filled. glad you've begun...

Quotidian Grace said...

This is so good to hear.