Monday, March 19, 2007


It's official. I have blown Random Thought Woman's Mind.

Setting: Sunday morning (of course) I have walked through the doors and as always she is the first one I see.

ws: Good morning, Random Thought Woman
rtw: Mornin. Do you have that song?
ws: Okay... I'm going to need more than that.
rtw: I'm going to do that thing, you know that we do, and I need a song.
ws: (pause as my brain flips through the 'Random Thought Woman's potential topics file' in my brain. I come up with nothing but my silence has encouraged her to fill in at least one blank).
rtw: You know, during worship, some of us leave and go to what's that place - Blue Valley!

She has just named our local nursing home where two months out of the year our congregation supplies folks to lead their Sunday School. She must be taking the kids over there next week. At least now we are both on the same event.

ws: Okay, I know what you're talking about now, I assume you need someone to play the piano or the guitar when you go next week.
rtw: No, I just need a record with Trust and Obey on it. We are going to talk about how you need to trust and obey the Lord. (I wish I could type the way she says, "Lord" but I can't. the best I can do is tell you it has two to three syllables with no southern accent.)
ws: Do they have a record player?
rtw: Oh... you know what I mean, a tape thingy.... cassette!!! Do you have a cassette of you singing Trust and Obey? (at least she didn't say 8-track)
ws: Oh, well... you must have me confused with the recording artist, The Amazing Will Smama. No, I don't have a recording of me singing anything, let alone Trust and Obey. What about this... do you have a cd player?
rtw: Is that the thing that spins those little tiny records?
ws: (respectfully chuckling)... yes, can you bring one of those?
rtw: I'll bring the Sunday School one.
ws: Okay, I'll bring you a cd next week with that on it.
rtw: I don't want you to buy a cd.
ws: I don't have to buy a cd.
rtw: I don't want the church buying it either.
ws: (ignoring what she is implying - the old school folks here have issues with my professional expense account - which by the way I spent NONE of last year because of our budget concerns, but I digress...) The church is not buying it either. I'll make it for you.
rtw: ------
ws: Okay? (I should have just left it at that, but I had never seen her without words before)
rtw: No lie-ing... don't buy it. You're just messin'.
ws: Random Thought Woman, I promise I am not messing with you. I can use the computer, find the song on the internet and bring it into you next week. Don't worry about it anymore.
rtw: (shaking her head in absolute total disbelief) Okay, you bring that to me next week.

I just burned it with the first one being Trust and Obey of course and loaded it with a lot of other hymns I know she loves but we rarely sing. I fought every fiber of my being to not put SexyBack on there.

Now... does she trust me enough to expect me to have it on Sunday... or does she show up on Sunday with it on cassette?


Songbird said...

You're just messin'...

will smama said...

Oh I know... it took me 4 years to laugh at stuff like this and not get frustrated over all of the 'they don't think I know what I'm doing' baggage.

I still trip over it every once in awhile but it has turned out to the be perfect example of why you stay for more than 4 years.

Sue said...

This is so hilarious. I'm betting she shows up with a cassette....

I'm trying to imagine her saying "Lord" - does it end up sounding kind of like "lowered" (As in, "He was lowered into a vat of boiling oil")?

St. Casserole said...

I know how she pronounces, "Lord".
You gotta laugh and love 'em.
Otherwise, we'd be facing charges.

Who knew you could burn (do you really heat it up) one of those round thingies in your computer?

Life? It's amazing.

Listing Straight said...

Y'all are all too funny-

But I'm going to have to scold you about your expenses account. Didn't you take me to lunch once on it last year? You need to spend it...

Listing Straight said...

Sorry. Who was that giving out unsolicited advice? Scratch that.

Girl said...

I bet she shows up with it on tape.

will smama said...

I am using it this year.

Christine said...

Be careful what you ask in the current denominational climate! In some corners of the PC(USA) the question would be "WHOM would Jesus burn?"

Quotidian Grace said...

Whatta hoot! I just love your Random Thought Woman stories. Don't we all know someone like that???

Teri said...

this is so like the conversations we've had around here about our new worship blog--where people can leave their ideas about creative things for worship in an online forum. You would think we were talking about them sacrificing alien babies or something. oy.

you go, WS, with your fabulous self and your incredible restraint (yet wit) with RTW! I am so impressed, I kind of want to be you.

will smama said...

Thanks Teri... it took me 5 plus years to get here, and them 5 plus years to figure out my sense of humor (granted some are still working on that).

revabi said...

Now that is a conversation. How patient of you with her.

But why not sexy back?

hipastorzwife2B said...

Our version of RTW was at the library today looking for "that book"
Uh huh.