Thursday, March 15, 2007

Because I didn't have all of your emails...

Along with 'You Know You Are From the Jersey Shore If..' the below is one of my favorite email forwards. As shocking as it may be to some of my parishioners I have actually seen the email about the cute things kids say about the Bible... no really. I have it.

But this one cracks me up. For some reason #'s 7 and 11 particularly tickle me today. Which # is your favorite?

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Cheques, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. Take a chain email and post it on your blog as if it were somehow original material.


I am tempted to do one of these.... which one should it be? Besides #20 which of course I just did.

10 comments:

towanda said...

My fave is #5.

Songbird said...

11 and 17 made me laugh out loud. #18? No comment.

Songbird said...

I meant 19, darn it.
#19? No comment. Not at this time...

Kathryn said...

I love 17 - think I may have done 19 as we don't seem to have seen Hattie Gandhi for a while! Actually 1 is rather attractive too...

LadyBurg said...

1, 2 and 5 made me laugh out loud. I think I just want access to an intercom system, period!

more cows than people said...

i'm tempted too... but can't pick a favorite. thanks for a laugh.

juniper68 said...

I used to have a print out of this over my desk when I worked at a regular office - still. so. hilarious.

hipastorzwife2B said...

tears rolling down my face...husband has no Idea what I'm saying... #6!

will smama said...

Oh my gosh, that is the one I actually DID on Friday. I don't think my massage therapist was amused.

Teri said...

hehehe! I've seen this where #6 reads "for sexual favors" instead of smuggling. Pretty funny. I'd love to see the pledge checks come in with that on them! LOL!

oh, for an intercom...right now HoS and I email between our offices. That's right, it's probably 10 feet from my desk to his, but there's a wall between (duh). The walk between our desks might equal 25 feet--MAYBE. and yet we email each other. I guess I could start using our admin as an intercom...I wonder if she'd be amused.

(thinking.)

no. too bad.

I think I am going to do number 14. It's March, for pete's sake, and it's freakin' freezing outside!