Saturday, January 20, 2007

I Write the Psalms

For what it is worth, here is one of the Psalms I wrote for tomorrow's sermon:

A Psalm of lament for the illnesses a lot of us have been suffering this winter:

Selah

O Lord, why has thou forsaken us?
Our throats are sore and our noses full.
We cry out to you, “Why Lord, why ---hack, cough, hack---?!”
Pneumonia, bronchitis – yea, even pleurisy
Have stricken us; oh how the mighty have fallen.
Surely your goodness and mercy will rescue us
From the depths of Robitussin.

O Lord have mercy upon those of us who drag
Through the day and yet receive no sleep through the night.
We search for answers Lord, and yet you are the one who commanded,
“Never kiss your honey, when your nose is runny.
You may think it’s funny…But it’s not.”

I kill me.

I swear, if I were even half as funny as I think I am, I would be making millions on the circuit right now.

17 comments:

cheesehead said...

LOLOL

Lorna said...

:) I'm with you in this one preacher :)


DD is sick (been off school for a full week) and last night hubby started making I'm not well noises - and he's NEVER sick

that's what I came home from seminary to - I love my family - and am glad to be here for them - but Lord give us a break and drive out the viruses, bacteria and ill health Amen

Anonymous said...

Too funny!

Anonymous said...

Never kiss your honey, when your nose is runny.

That is just too, too good...
I'm sorry I'm not there to here the sermon and cheer you on...

will smama said...

I stole it. I hae seen it on a greeting card twice.

mz said...

"but it'sss.. sNOT!!"

HA!!

Kills me EVERY time :)

ppb said...

So will this be read antiphonally?
Or perhaps the choir will chant it?
I dare you.

will smama said...

ppb,
someday. somehow. I promise you I will make that happen. But you have met this choir and you know that they don't even know that psalms get sung by choirs.

So I accept your challenge... but not today.

Preacher Mom said...

LOL!

This is great! Please let us know when you take on the challenge. If we can't make it, please videotape!

reverendmother said...

Regarding Selah, Uncle Walt once told us that it was a Hebrew curse word used whenever the psalmist's lyre busted a string.

Are you one of those people who laughs a little too hard at your own jokes too?

Yeah, R will catch me chuckling at the computer sometimes and I'm ashamed to tell him yes, I'm actually nerdy enough to be laughing at something I've written.

Sue said...

This is great!

Songbird said...

I think it's funny.
Really.
Maybe our RevGal Event needs to feature a coffee house night with stand-up?

will smama said...

Oh Songbird, don't encourage me.

Anonymous said...

"...and no sermon on The Body of Christ shall be complete without a mucus joke inserted...(snort) I mean placed...(guffaw) I mean added."
from Homilitics for the Hilarious, page 123

Questing Parson said...

This will preach! And frankly, I'd pay money to hear you make me laugh.

Anonymous said...

.....Thus endeth the lesson.....

LOL!! So funny.

RuthRE said...

hehehehehehe