Many areas of the United States are having a heat wave. Global warming, anyone? Look on the bright side of melting glaciers and enviro-destruction by taking a crack at the Friday Five:
1. What's the high temperature today where you are?
Eighty - ass hot - seven degrees.
2. Favorite way(s) to beat the heat.
Beach. Sit with feet in kiddie pool while child plays. Beach. Ice cold drinks. Air-conditioned naps.
3. "It's not the heat, it's the humidity." Evaluate this statement.
No shit, Sherlock. Although I have been to Arizona in the summer and that dry heat will kill you too.
4. Discuss one or more of the following: sauna, hot tub, sweat lodge, warm-stone massage.
Eh on all of them. I do not like to be hot. It gives me a headache.
5. Hottest you've ever been in your life
It was the worst (non-tragic) day of my life. Middle of the summer, triple digits and humid. Family was in town but I was not taking vacation, just trying to work around their schedule. An older member of the congregation died. Her son and d-i-l had voted against my call at the church and he and his wife left the church membership when I arrived (it was a woman thing). They certainly didn't want me doing the funeral (post for another day- his parents loved me. I have found that a lot, the WWII generation is great to me, it is their sons and daughters who raise a stink about everything.)
I tried to work the funeral date to not land on the day my family was going to a big amusement park. They used this opening to call another pastor and get him on board to do the funeral. If this happened today I would call that pastor and tell him to call the family and let them know that I could do it and therefore he would not be doing it. But I didn't know him at the time, he was a former interim, and I was trying to play the 'I don't need to be a jerk about this' card.
Turned out he was a pompous, arrogant, manipulating windbag who made my day with him a living hell... and the temperature reflected that accurately. I will sum up by answering the question at hand: It was SO HOT that at one point during the service as I sat in the unairconditioned Sanctuary and listened to this windbag walk around with a microphone as if he was Phil Donahue and talk about God only knows what - certainly not the woman who died - I moved my arm and a STREAM of sweat dribbled down my wrist and fingers and onto the floor. It even made a noise - that is how much there was.
Non-temperature related bonus: In your opinion... who's hot?
I am grumpy (in case you couldn't tell from the tone so far) so I am going to skip the obligatory 'my husband' answer with a roll of the eyes towards those who wrote that and say:
George Clooney - Handsome Hot
Nick Lachey - Boy Toy Hot
Brad Pitt - Specific Movie Hot (A River Runs Through It)
Will Smith - Committed Family Man Hot
Robert Redford - Old Man Hot