Friday, July 28, 2006

Revgalblogpal Friday Five: Hot, Hot, Hot Edition

Many areas of the United States are having a heat wave. Global warming, anyone? Look on the bright side of melting glaciers and enviro-destruction by taking a crack at the Friday Five:

1. What's the high temperature today where you are?
Eighty - ass hot - seven degrees.

2. Favorite way(s) to beat the heat.
Beach. Sit with feet in kiddie pool while child plays. Beach. Ice cold drinks. Air-conditioned naps.

3. "It's not the heat, it's the humidity." Evaluate this statement.
No shit, Sherlock. Although I have been to Arizona in the summer and that dry heat will kill you too.

4. Discuss one or more of the following: sauna, hot tub, sweat lodge, warm-stone massage.
Eh on all of them. I do not like to be hot. It gives me a headache.

5. Hottest you've ever been in your life
It was the worst (non-tragic) day of my life. Middle of the summer, triple digits and humid. Family was in town but I was not taking vacation, just trying to work around their schedule. An older member of the congregation died. Her son and d-i-l had voted against my call at the church and he and his wife left the church membership when I arrived (it was a woman thing). They certainly didn't want me doing the funeral (post for another day- his parents loved me. I have found that a lot, the WWII generation is great to me, it is their sons and daughters who raise a stink about everything.)

I tried to work the funeral date to not land on the day my family was going to a big amusement park. They used this opening to call another pastor and get him on board to do the funeral. If this happened today I would call that pastor and tell him to call the family and let them know that I could do it and therefore he would not be doing it. But I didn't know him at the time, he was a former interim, and I was trying to play the 'I don't need to be a jerk about this' card.

Turned out he was a pompous, arrogant, manipulating windbag who made my day with him a living hell... and the temperature reflected that accurately. I will sum up by answering the question at hand: It was SO HOT that at one point during the service as I sat in the unairconditioned Sanctuary and listened to this windbag walk around with a microphone as if he was Phil Donahue and talk about God only knows what - certainly not the woman who died - I moved my arm and a STREAM of sweat dribbled down my wrist and fingers and onto the floor. It even made a noise - that is how much there was.

Non-temperature related bonus: In your opinion... who's hot?
I am grumpy (in case you couldn't tell from the tone so far) so I am going to skip the obligatory 'my husband' answer with a roll of the eyes towards those who wrote that and say:
George Clooney - Handsome Hot
Nick Lachey - Boy Toy Hot
Brad Pitt - Specific Movie Hot (A River Runs Through It)
Will Smith - Committed Family Man Hot
Robert Redford - Old Man Hot

11 comments:

Songbird said...

I'm not sure I even know what Nick Lachey looks like, but I agree with all the other choices except Pitt. He is not at all hot in my not-so-humble opinion.
Another guy I like is Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, who was on Oz and is now on Lost. Go here for a picture, since we can't stop making links today.

pPB said...

no Paul Newman for old man hot? I think he's dreamy. I was born too late.

reverendmother said...

Thank you for joining me on the not-husband bandwagon. Not that I don't love and drool over mine but that's not the point! ;-)

Hope it gets better for ya today.

Sue said...

There's a special place in hell for arrogant wind-bag pastors who ramble on for too long on hot days. Shame about the noisy sweat droplet though.

I still have a crush on Robert Redford, leftover from my teen years. He's still clearly Old Man Hot.

revabi said...

hot smama knows hot daddy's.
You go girl. Too bad the sweat didn't drip on said buffoon at the funeral. That truly was a bad day in hell, and serves the family right. did you get to go to the amusement park after all?

will smama said...

Paul Newman has actually aged a bit better I think... both are hot.

And no, rev abi I did not get to go to the amusement park. They came back that day VERY hot and shall we say walking a bit tenderly from the chafing.

Girl said...

George Clooney....I'm swaying ;)

Girl said...

I'd also like to add Pierce Brosnan in Thomas Crowne Affair...hmmm...as long as we are dreaming...if only I could look as great as Renee Russo :)

Songbird said...

May I just say that I really *do* think my husband is hot? Does it make it better that he's a second husband?

Susie said...

Mmm... good taste in the bonus question! Although, I am also partial to Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall.

Melissa said...

Loved your responses - especially the bonus ones. Way to get the most out of your bonus bucks.

As an introvert myself, let me just say THANKS for understanding your husband's need for a little recovery time. That rocks!!!