Sunday, October 30, 2005

Copy, Paste, Answer - From Hazelnut Reflections

1. smoked a cigar - yes
2. crashed a friend's car - no
3. stolen a car - no
4. been in love - yes
5. been dumped - yes
6. dumped someone - yes
7. taken shots of alcohol - yes
8. been fired – yes (8x by my Dad – does that count)
9. been in a fist fight - yes
10. snuck out of a/your house - yes
11. had feelings for someone who didn't have them back- yes
12. been arrested - no
13. made out with a stranger - no
14. gone on a blind date - yes
15. lied to a friend - yes
16. had a crush on a teacher- no
18. seen someone die - yes
19. been on a plane - yes
20. thrown up in a bar - yes
22. miss someone right now - yes
23. laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by - yes
24. made a snow angel - yes
25. played dress up - yes
26. cheated while playing a game - yes
27. been lonely - yes
28. fallen asleep at work/school - yes
29. used a fake id - no
30. felt an earthquake - no
31. touched a snake - yes
32. run a red light - yes
33. had detention - yes
34. been in a car accident - yes
35. hated the way you look - yes
37. been lost - yes
38. been to the opposite side of the country - yes
39. felt like dying - yes
40. cried yourself to sleep - yes
41. played cops and robbers - yes
42. karaoke - yes
43. done something you told yourself you wouldn't - yes
44. laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose- yes
45. caught a snowflake on your tongue - yes
46. kissed in the rain - yes
47. sang in the shower - yes
48. made love in a park - no
49. had a dream that you married someone - yes
50. glued your hand to something - no
51. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole - no
52. worn the opposite sex's clothes - yes
53. Been a cheerleader – NO!
54. sat on a roof top - yes
55. talked on the phone all night - yes
56. ever too scared to watch scary movies alone – yes (you can even take out the ‘alone’)
57. played chicken fight - yes
58. been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on - yes
59. been told you're hot by a complete stranger - no
60. broken a bone - yes
61. had a 3-some? - no
62. dipped snuff? - no
63. lived overseas - no
64. Ever passed out/fainted? - yes
65. blown bubbles in the wintertime - yes

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Newsletter Article

Every month we put out our church's newsletter. I usually try to put some sort of article in there from me personally although rarely on the front page. I figure the newsletter is to get information out and not for me to wax poetic about winter snow or the theological significance of the spread (click here for my rant about spread)on the fields.

The problem is that with all I usually have to say at any other time, when it comes to newsletter time... I've got nothing. Now part of it is that usually I haven't thought about it ahead of time and all of the sudden I am facing a deadline of yesterday. Now usually such deadlines get my juices flowing but not in this case.

So with that AMAZING fanfare, here is November's article with only three minor edits:

Beloved Children of God,

One of my favorite times during Session meeting is toward the end when we lay business aside and we pray for one another. We not only share our joys and concerns that evening; we also pass around a cup filled with the names of everyone in the meeting and whomever we draw becomes our prayer partner for the month. Sometimes God’s sense of humor is witnessed firsthand as the person with whom we disagreed with the most is often the very name we draw.

This past meeting as we went around and said who we were praying for this month we also shared something we are looking forward to as we enter the busy holiday season. Spending time with family certainly topped the list.

It got me to thinking how thankful I am to be sharing this time in my life and in my ministry with you, the family of Church.

This will be our fifth holiday season together and the familiarity that brings gives me a sense of comfort and warmth. I am looking forward to another season of thankfulness, Hanging of the Greens, the build up of Advent towards the celebration of Christmas, the joyful lessons and carols of the Christmas Eve service and this year an opportunity to worship and share with one another our gifts on Christmas Day.

I am so thankful that The Boy’s first holiday season will be spent surrounded by folks who have loved him and prayed for him before he was even born. I look forward to watching him take in all of the sights and sounds of the holidays at Church.

What are you looking forward to?

Peace be with You,

I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that has been given you in Christ Jesus.
– I Corinthians 1:4 (NRSV)

So my friends, what are you looking forward to?

Advent Devotional

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005

The Heart is Smiling...

Sunday morning in between Sunday School and Church I walked up to the nursery to check on my 8 month old. He was sitting on someone's lap and when I came around the corner his face lit up and he waved that cute little kid wave with the palm up and just the fingers moving.

He waved to me!

As my husband says, "We are so keeping this little guy."

Friday, October 21, 2005

RevGalBlogPal Friday Five

1) What was the last CD you purchased?
Bruce Springsteen’s The Rising

2) Did you like it?
Yes. Especially Track #10, The Fuse, which proves you can be married for awhile and have kids and still have ‘it’.

3) Is it the kind of music you would call your favorite?
Not really. Bruce and Bon Jovi are kind of a NJ allegiance thing. I like them both enough, but they are not my favorite. Not sure if I have a favorite, it depends very much on the mood I am in. I am also very much aware that I have only barely glimpsed all that the musical world has to offer. I am very mainstream and I am using a lot of revgalblogpal recommendations to open my ears to more.

4) What was the first album (CD for you youngsters) you ever owned?
It was an album, and it was Free to Be You and Me by Marlo Thomas and Friends. If you’ve heard it, you get it; if not I cannot explain it.

5) And what was your favorite cut from that recording?
Songs: It’s Alright to Cry (Rosey Grier) and Parents are People (Harry Belafonte)
Narratives: Boy Meets Girl (Mel Brooks and Marlo Thomas) and Atlanta (Alan Alda and Marlo Thomas)

Happy Friday Everyone!!!


I would like to thank the stereotypical conservative evangelicals who have made it impossible for any morality issues to be discussed without being tainted by their hate and inability to see the gray area. If I speak out against the current cultural climate I am immediately put in a category with Falwell, Robertson and the like.

I was watching a segment on the Today Show that spoke of the sexual activity of today’s teens and I wanted to say: of course our children are more violent and active in the seedy side of casual sex. Did you think that by cloaking immorality in words like ‘capitalism’ and ‘free speech’ that there would be no repercussions? Have you seen MTV lately? Have you noticed the amount of parents who ‘medicate’ their children with filler tv and video games as they continue their quest for the almighty dollar or their own right to feel good? Did you not think suburban warfare would have any casualties?

But I cannot say that because even my own mind flinches in horror and says to me “you sound like a faith-based initiative.”

And while I'm at it how come during the last inquisition of the proposed Supreme Court justice the media and democrats were chastised for bringing religion into it saying it should not be allowed in the equation and yet for the current proposed Supreme Court justice it has become the platform of choice and the stated reason why she should be approved?

Can anyone red and 'right' please just acknowledge the hypocrisy of it all so we can move on towards a better government blue, red or whatever color you choose?!


Tuesday, October 18, 2005

This is only a test...

Admittedly, I am just trying to find out if I am getting "updated!" or not. Still always good to be reminded how "talented and versatile" I am.

Your Birthdate: May 23

With a birthday on the 23rd of the month (5 energy) you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them.
You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas.
You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel.

You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable.
Your mind is quick, clever and analytical.
A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine.
You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility.
Very sociable, you make friends easily and you are an excellent traveling companion.

Monday, October 17, 2005

RevGalBlogPal Meme - Inside the Actor's Studio

1. What is your favorite word?

2. What is your least favorite word?

3. What turns you on, creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Laughing with people or playing a sport so hard you are in the zone and finish totally exhausted.

4. What turns you off?
Body odor; militance; closed minds; stupidity

5. What is your favorite curse word?
The 'f' bomb... I rarely get to use it though.

6. What sound or noise do you love?
Stolen from my sister: glass communion cups being placed in the wooden pew holders; shells/rocks being pushed and pulled by the ocean waves; the baby breathing over the monitor

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Lawn mowers/leafblowers/tractors early Saturday morning or Sunday afternoon - rude!

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Attempt or succeed at? The former actor, the latter rock star... more realistically sports announcer or radio personality (I didn't say viable, I just said more realistic than actor and rock star).

9. What profession would you not like to do?
bank teller, trash collector, politician

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Don't worry, I set them straight."

Sunday, October 16, 2005

I'm soooo hungry

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable.
You pull punches, but people still love you.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Life 'These Days'

I live on the church grounds. I will blog about manse life someday, but suffice it to say that the congregation is very good at respecting our ‘space’ but no matter how good they are, it can get a bit like living in a fishbowl.

The manse faces the church with a parking lot in between. Yesterday when I came home with The Boy there was a beat-up, 1970’s, camper parked right in front of my house. Admittedly, I groaned. My heart unfortunately has been hardened and with a church fairly close to the interstate with clear signs leading the way to our church (thank you pcusa for THAT initiative) I have seen campers like this before. You know the type: rusting from the outside in, faded fabric and/or plywood covering the windows, a lawn chair in between the two front seats (which are ripped and a lovely grimey brown) so that a third party can sit in the front too… it wasn’t pretty, and frankly it made me nervous.

The church is not totally out in the middle of nowhere, but it is separated from homes with a lot of farmland around. It is a bit isolated – enough where neighbors and such would not really notice a strange car/van/camper in the parking lot… or potentially my screams for help. Adding to all this is that TDH was still over at his Dad’s helping him function after his latest chemo treatment and I was home alone with The Boy.

I have had folks pull in here before when I wasn’t home and wait for the pastor to come home. One guy reportedly was here for hours before I came home and was none too happy with the standard $10 gas card and the list of directions to other resources that could help him with shower, meal, clothing, shelter, etc… Again, my heart has admittedly been hardened because it is overwhelmingly the case that if you do not give these folks cash, they nastily tell you that they are not looking for any of the other kinds of help you are offering them. With only an 8 month old, a cat and a Golden Retriever who would lick the hand of Satan if he thought it would get him some pets available to protect me I decided to avoid handling any potential conflict on my own.

What WOULD Jesus do in 2005 in my church parking lot? (Although I don’t think this is fair since he knew he was being resurrected and I have no such guarantee.)

---Please no theology lessons in reference to this. I know I do have a guarantee, this is just a bad joke that is funnier when said than typed. No really, trust me, it is. ---

So I park the van on the lawn in front of my house and unload what I can and The Boy keeping my eye on the camper. Once safely inside with doors locked I consider various strategies. I go with calling a couple that lives up the road so that she can keep her eye on The Boy and he can increase my burly factor as I knock on the camper door and attempt to get these people back on the road.

They come down and after knocking and banging on the camper it is apparent that no one is in there. We talk to some neighbors. They have seen this thing both yesterday and today going up and down the road and into the parking lot and then out. No one recognizes it or knows anything more about it.

All throughout this everyone is saying the same refrain over my apologies for making a bigger deal than this is probably worth: “You can’t be too careful these days…” “Unfortunately these days you’ve got to look into these things…” Things have changed these days…”

Alright, longer story slightly shorter… we end up calling the State Police (there is no police station out here and no I did not call 911.They were well aware that this was not an emergency.) The trooper comes out and does a check on the license plate and it turns out it is folks who live down the road. He goes down to talk to them and they call me. They are having a garage sale yesterday and today and needed a place to park this thing.

I told him that was fine, but when people do that they a) let us know and b) park over to the side or towards the back, not directly in front of my house.

The trooper came back and said the guy’s wife is mortified and livid. I can only imagine their own family story that will eventually become something like: “Remember when your father’s ugly, stupid, trashy camper had the local pastor calling the cops on him?”

So unfortunately that is life ‘these days’. You can’t just trust that these things are nothing. You have to be aware of your own safety even out here in the country.

One more funny note: the camper was totally locked. Some of the windows were nailed shut, but it was shut. The trooper was cracking up saying he see this all the time – a totally trashy vehicle (and this thing fit the description) and yet whoever left it locked the whole thing up just in case someone might want to steal that lawn chair with a hole in it where the front seat is supposed to be!

The RevGalBlogPal Friday Five

The weather where you are: Moving toward autumn crisp and sunny (finally!)

Where you are typing this: At our dining room table, which really has more of an office feel. The Boy is playing and spitting in the living room, talking to his sock (dang he’s cute).

Where you might be sitting if you could be anywhere: On the deck of our friends’ beach apartment overlooking the ocean – smelling the smells, hearing the sounds, drinking the coffee… and most likely wondering how long I can sit up there before the glare of the sun off the computer screen does permanent damage to my retinas.

A chore you have to do this weekend: Buying clothes for my mother-in-law so she can practice getting dressed by herself in rehab. How do you tell a woman who is not exactly your biggest fan anyway, that her size medium petite days are over (and have been for quite some time). I guess for starters you probably leave out the ‘and have been for quite some time’ part.

Something delightful you will do or would like to do this weekend: I would love to go on a hike with TDH - The Boy in his backpack and the dog running ahead of us… Not gonna happen though. TDH is caring for his father about an hour away and I have a shopping assignment to complete. There are decent college football games on later this afternoon however and for me that is an okay consolation prize.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

In Honor of My Father

Long story... we'll have to figure out the answer to the post below before I get into the weirdness that is my father.

In the meantime be sure to make our pal here quack and feed it some bread. Cute!

adopt your own virtual pet!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Poem: Second Edition

Ticklies on my nose
Warm breath with traces of apple juice
Soggy fingers tracing
the outline of my face
There is plenty to do...
For me the responsibilities of
parent, spouse and pastor
For him to be eight months old.

But for now I stare as he
tells me it is time to get up
from our nap.

Monday, October 10, 2005

An attempt at poetry...

I don't normally blog on Monday - or at least not early Monday - as this is my day off (read: my day to be with The Boy). But I am in my office waiting possibly for Godot and I thought I'd post something about my day on Saturday.

Without grossing anyone out I will tell you that The Boy had a diaper blowout so huge that I ended up hosing down: him, me, the exersaucer, various toys, the neighbor's shed, a passing milk truck and our kitty.


I'm not a very good poet. And I know...well, let's just say I am aware of the situation. However, the combination of waiting in my office on my day off for a phone man that may or may not ever come and not wanting to use that time wisely has encouraged me to be brave and post something I wrote while at the beach.
So just for fun (read: NOT for harsh criticism) I share this:

Slight brushing of the lips
Warm breath of pears and apples
Sticky, moist fingers across my face
A happy gurgle and a wet kiss
Nap time is over for both of us
Announces the best alarm clock ever.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Peanuts Quiz

Snoopy!Yeah me!

Gotta be honest, I thought for sure I would be Peppermint Patty so I may have altered my answers just a bit... not that there's anything wrong with that.

You are Snoopy!

Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Boy and The Office

TDH (tall, dark & husband) is off to be with his Dad today so I have taken The Boy (8 months) to the office. He is supposed to be napping… he is not and has not. I am now at the point where that is actually good news because he has been relatively happy (enough for me to get the bulletin done) and may soon actually nap giving me more time to write sermon (er,blog).

He has been here before with me and I am struck by the operetta that plays underneath everything I do and say while he is here even while I am on the phone. The words do not match exactly, but the tone and intensity is similar to the overture from the Barber of Seville.

It starts when I walk through the door:
CHORUS: Here is my munchkin. He’s a cute munchkin. Yes, hello I’m here, but I am with my munchkin. Yes, I know he’s cute and I am so glad that he has been properly adored by you but now we must go work.

Please play nicely. How about the pak n’ play? It has some toys in it already that I should probably switch out. Oh well, I’m here now and so hopefully you will be happy with this stuffed frog…that is for 3 month olds… and has God knows what growing on it…

CHORUS: Here is my munchkin. He’s a cute munchkin. Yes, hello I’m here, but I am with my munchkin. Yes, I know he’s cute and I am so glad that he has been properly adored by you but now we must go work.

I’m not sure if this parishioner would be ok with my munchkin being here even though he is so cute. Part of me wants him to babble cutely and part of me wants him to be very, very quiet.

He is quiet! What a good munchkin. I love him so much. He is being perfect. Time to work on the bulle… what’s that smell?

CHORUS: Here is my munchkin. He’s a cute munchkin. Yes, hello I’m here, but I am with my munchkin. Yes, I know he’s cute and I am so glad that he has been properly adored by you but now we must go work.

Could it be? Maybe not. Yet deep down I know that I do not randomly smell this, it must be true… Step away from the computer and go change a diaper!
GROSS!!! What do we have here? It is disgusting! And now I think a bit is on the carpet. Where are you going? I am not done wiping. Where am I going to throw away this disgusting treasure?

CHORUS: Here is my munchkin. He’s a cute munchkin. Yes, hello I’m here, but I am with my munchkin. Yes, I know he’s cute and I am so glad that he has been properly adored by you but now we must go work.

All is calm now. He is sleeping. I have time to work on all my important duties. How are my revgalblogpals doing? Is there something new there? I really should post before they think I have disappeared. Now is perfect since the munchkin is finally sleeping.

Here is my munchkin. He’s a cute munchkin. Yes, hello I’m here, but I am with my munchkin. Yes, I know he’s cute and I am so glad that he has been properly adored by you but now we must go work.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Pieces O' Banana

I had grand visions of giving my 8 month old chunks of banana and a graham cracker with some apple juice and him eating them, grateful for a snack while I made (read: warmed up) the rest of his lunch and awed him with my mothering talents. Instead I learned the following:

  1. Baby will put everything he finds on the floor into his mouth.
  2. The one thing you want him to put in his mouth, he will put on the floor.
  3. The dog does not like banana.
  4. Banana on the floor is very slippery.
  5. Bargain brand graham crackers are too hard to melt in baby’s mouth.
  6. The dog does like graham crackers - even bargain brand.
  7. There are only so many times you can keep a tall dog from licking a dangling baby hand covered in food.
  8. Even if that food is banana.
  9. Taking the stopper out of a sippy cup to make it easier for baby to use is okay… in and of itself.
  10. Leaving fully secured baby and going 3 feet to let dog outside (see #7) is okay… in and of itself.
  11. #9 + #10 = VERY WET BABY!
  12. It also makes for a very wet floor, tray, bib, table, etc…
  13. Yet miraculously the bargain brand graham crackers that were on the tray are still too hard to eat.
  14. AND FINALLY... Nothing sounds sweeter than the deep breathing of a well showered, post-lunch trauma, sleeping baby on the monitor… I am soon to follow.

    Now I know why I go to work and Daddy stays home.
girl gone great tagged me for this meme:
1. Go into your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence along with these instructions.
5. Tag five people to do the same.

I barely have 23 so it is a fairly recent blog where I was typing random things about trying to get away on vacation rather than actually doing those things I needed to do in order to get away on vacation. The 5th line was:

"Is it wrong that I left a number to reach me that I know I will not answer?"

In hindsight I can admit that I did answer the phone but they had caller id!

As for tagging 5 people...

How about:

reverend mother
reverend mommy
rev stacey
and as if he even knows I exist...