Thursday, September 29, 2005

Random Beach Thoughts

Greetings all... okay, the 3 of you! I have returned and I am back in my office which means I have been working on this blog and none of the other small fires that are accumulated on my desk.

I have promised myself to not bore you and wax poetic endlessly about the beach, but will instead post some one-time-only thoughts. Enjoy or ignore:

  • The first night of beach and inlet sounds is loud.
  • The rest of the nights are soothing.
  • Baby boy + sunscreen lotion + salt = the best smell EVER
  • I can still boogie board as well as when I was a kid.
  • After riding the wave in, I do NOT get up off the boogie board as well as I did as a kid.
  • What wouldn’t make sense here makes total sense there:
    - Diving into sand and surf (not to mention over chairs, towels and people) in order to keep the ball going back and forth during Kadima (paddle ball).
    - Getting way too competitive over horseshoes.
    - Playing horseshoes in the first place.
    - Putting off dinner in order to coordinate it properly with sunset and high tide.
    - Spending a ridiculous $6 on a sandwich simply because it is at a stand on the beach.
  • I am glad TDH came along. On the last day he cleaned and packed so I could spend the last few hours on the beach.
  • I am glad he came along for other reasons too.
  • Food just tastes better there.
  • After copious quantities of fried foods, creamy soups, pork roll sandwiches, bagels and cream cheese, cheese dogs and French fries (not your normal hot dogs), Chinese food, saltwater taffy, pints of ice cream and basically anything bad for me I was able to get my mouth around, I am seriously ready for a week of salad and brown rice.
  • In a paraphrase of Brick Tamblyn from Anchorman: I love beach.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Thoughts the Day Before Vacation...

Am I there yet?
Is my throat sore?
Why couldn’t they spread* tomorrow?
Do I have to go to Session meeting (governing board) tonight?
Is it wrong that I gave a number to reach me that I know I will not answer?
Fine, I’ll check the messages.
I think my brain is already at the beach… hello? Anything up there? I need you for just a few more hours.
How can an 8 month old have so much stuff?
How can a Golden Retriever have so much stuff?
When TDH gets frustrated with ‘all that needs to be done before we leave’ and casually mentions him not going – should I take him up on it?
Should I leave ‘The Boy’ with him?
TDH is right, I wouldn’t last 2 days without him… ‘The Boy’ I mean.
Fine, I’d miss TDH too… it would take 3 days though.
Is it wrong that I have no desire to contact my relatives in that direction and let them know we will be there?
I hope my Mom remembers the wine… and is willing to baby-sit.
Usually not bringing my computer is a good thing, but I will miss my revgalblogpals.
Should I bring it?
No, because then I will check church email.
Revgalblogpals will understand.
Oh how I wish this blog were the last thing on my 'to do' list…

*Spread: An evil necessity out here in the land of agriculture where farmers spread the ‘goo’ that has been sucked up from the floor of their barns and after it has fermented and given whole new meaning to the word ‘pungent’ they spread it on their fields. Right now at least three tractors pulling loads of this crap (literally) are going up and down our road spreading in a very near place… meaning tonight our lungs will be burning and breathing will be something we wish were optional. The stench actually seeps into the house and becomes embedded in your clothes and lungs.

My problem is that I take this activity personally. I think they choose their times to spread according to my schedule in order to best ‘stick it to me’.
EXHIBIT A) Our church holds an annual chicken bbq and in the last 4 years they have spread on that day. It is hard to sell appetizing food when the field next door is shimmering and boiling in the early September sun.
EXHIBIT B) Three years ago we had a gorgeous Christmas Eve with it beginning to snow just as the service let out. The next morning – Christmas Day – there was a foot of gorgeous snow on the ground. However, instead of Christmas cheer one #*$& farmer had spread Christmas Smear – it reeked!
EXHIBIT C) I am one day away from being surrounded by the smells of ocean salt and other seafaring smells (I don’t even mind the aroma of diesel when coming from a tugboat in the inlet). So today I simply ask: Could we not have waited to spread just one more day? Could it not have waited until my nose and lungs were safely tucked away in a beachfront apartment?

Please refrain from posting comments about the circle-of-life and the indirect correlation between said stench and the vegetables that are put on my plate. I have been called a city slicker (a laugher since everyone out here thinks everyone from NJ rode taxis to school and lived next to syringe-spewing factories and oil refineries. I lived in lovely suburbs, near horse stables and trees and gardens). I have been told it is the ‘smell of money’ – if so, please accept my commitment to poverty right now.

But when the natives are not looking, I have seen them gag themselves. I have seen them cover their noses and mouths and use words to each other like ‘ripe’ and ‘that damn {name left out}farm’. I KNOW it bothers them too…

Rocker Band-wagon

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing.
That doesn't mean you don't rock out...
You just rock out with meaning.
For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

Damn, typical firstborn. I cannot even ‘rock’ without being responsible about it.

Friday, September 16, 2005


Okay, I am posting this again because it got buried down there in the column and I think it could be fun... and we need your help. I am posting this with the commitment that I will leave it and not become impatient with it.

Have a great weekend and have fun!

Create Your Own CD!
I have a fun thing for you to do besides all of the work you actually need to get done today. My friend 'A' is working on a cd for kids that has adult music on it. Basically, songs that are silly but not obnoxious for adults to listen to like: Yellow Submarine by the Beatles and Movin’ Right Along by the Muppets and The Jungle Song by ummm, I forget (you know the one… ‘in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight'). Please excuse my singing voice...

What are your suggestions?

More bandwaggoning... not to mention procrastinating

Your Element is Wood

Your power colors: green and brown

Your energy: generative

Your season: spring

Like a tree, you are always growing and changing.
And while your life is dynamic, you are firmly grounded.
You have high morals and great confidence in yourself and others.
You have a wide set of interests, and you make for intersting company.

A tree?! Fine, but there was no button to click that said: Enjoys the beach, but only during the off season.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Which is Sadder...

The fact that the radio station I am listening to in my office right now is playing "Funky Cold Medina" by Tone Loc... or the fact that I know most of the words?

Ah college, where the mysteries of statistics have long ago left me, but the lyrics from a two hit wonder stick like glue!


Jumping on the bandwagon fairly early this time...

Click here to take the M*A*S*H quiz!

What stands out for me about this comparison is that on B.J.'s very first episode he puked on the side of the road... hmmmmm... I have done a lot of crazy (said 'orgasm' instead of 'organism') and embarrassing (sobbed uncontrollably) things in the midst of worship but not THAT one.

Create Your Own CD!

I have a fun thing for you to do besides all of the work you actually need to get done today. My friend 'A' is working on a cd for kids that has adult music on it. Basically, songs that are silly but not obnoxious for adults to listen to like: Yellow Submarine by the Beatles and Movin’ Right Along by the Muppets and The Jungle Song by ummm, I forget (you know the one… ‘in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight). Please excuse my singing voice...

What are your suggestions?

Friday, September 09, 2005

Unoriginal 100

Oh yeah. Not only am I jumping on the bandwagon, but I am jumping on the bandwagon WELL AFTER the trend is over. A - thank you!

1) I am 5’10”
2) I have hazel eyes.
3) I have been married for 9 years.
4) I don’t often get mushy.
5) He is truly God’s gift to undeserving me.
6) I am often humbled by it.
7) But even more often take it for granted.
8) I have 10 toes.
9) And 9 fingers.
10) Kids always notice this.
11) Most adults do not.
12) My wedding rings got caught on an immovable object.
13) It lead to my first ride in a helicopter.
14) Life certainly goes on, but I still miss it.
15) My nieces and nephews think it’s cool.
16) I wish it hadn’t happened just about every day.
17) It is not the worst thing that has happened to me.
18) I can’t share yet but to say…
19) My first is actually my second.
20) Drastically changing tones – I love sports.
21) Playing ‘em and watching ‘em.
22) Because of where I live I am trying but I still say,
23) NASCAR is not a sport.
24) I love football.
25) The NY GIANTS are my favorite NFL team.
26) The Chicago Cubs are my favorite baseball team but
27) I really just love baseball in general.
28) Especially the playoffs.
29) Although I stay up way too late to watch.
30) And drag around all day basically during the entire month of October.
31) I played flag football in seminary.
32) And loved it more than any of my classes.
33) Me having a Masters degree in anything is proof that God exists.
34) And is further proof that this truly is my Call.
35) Despite the current condition of this week’s sermon.
36) I have a dog.
37) And one cat.
38) I used to have 2.
39) For awhile we had five.
40) But that was short-lived.
41) And crossed the line from pet owners to
42) Wacky couple with the five cats!
43) I have one sister.
44) She is younger.
45) And funnier.
46) And reading this :)
47) I was mean to her growing up.
48) Now I’m sorry.
49) But also happy to have the sermon illustrations.
50) But really sorry.
51) I played softball in college.
52) You know how good guys look in baseball uniforms?
53) Women do not.
54) It’s a hips in polyester thing.
55) I learned the bigger the boobs
56) and the butt,
57) the farther the ball goes.
58) I hit no home runs then.
59) But since having a child probably could now.
60) If the boobs and butt thing were the only requirements.
61) I am an extrovert.
62) In a lonely introverted solo pastor setting.
63) I look forward to the day when I once again work with a staff.
64) I grew up on the NJ shore.
65) But I was never a beach bum.
66) I took it for granted.
67) And now I miss the sounds and the smells.
68) I like it most off-season.
69) I have a secret desire to learn how to knit.
70) But I am embarrassed to ask my Mom to teach me.
71) I think I’m the only woman on the planet who doesn’t really like chocolate.
72) I’m sorry.
73) Just think that’s more for you!
74) I majored in Religious Studies.
75) But wished I didn’t.
76) Seminary was a repeat of a lot of it.
77) So I should have majored in Sociology
78) Or Psychology
79) Or Business
80) Or Theater instead.
81) I had AKMA in college.
82) And Seminary.
83) If you know him
84) You envy me.
85) If you know me.
86) You pity him.
87) In high school I rang hand bells for my church.
88) It was a big deal then.
89) Sometimes it bums me out that no one really cares now.
90) We were really good.
91) Toured this country and England.
92) Anyone?
93) Oh well.
94) I don’t read as much as I should.
95) My best friends are a favorite side dish.
96) I have a pak n’ play in my office.
97) And very often my dog.
98) I am hooked on other people’s blogs.
100) My sermon still is not written.

Seriously people, it is time for sermon! Have a great weekend.

Getting Personal

So I have removed the pictures of myself and family. I decided to continue with the anonimity thing, even though I will always have a filter on my writing just in case.

I am going to jump on the '100 things about me' bandwagon and there will be some things in there that I am sure will be almost as revealing as a picture. You'll know what I'm talking about when you read #9 on my list.

I am going to post the '100 things' because I am tired of being frustrated and saddened over Hurricane Katrina and I am tired of whining and I think that has been the majority of this week's blog entries from me.

First however, I must finish my sermon... so it might be awhile

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Dealing with Delia

Did anyone see a woman named Delia on CNN this morning? She is one of people who has chosen to stay. It is hard to describe her... confident, umpteenth generation New Orleans, lives in the art district. She road her bike to the interview. When Soledad O'Brien asked her why she would stay with the toxic water around her she said that her house was high and dry with very little damage. It was the media who chose to hang out in the toxic water.

She also clarified that folks were told to get out, but were not given the means to do so. They were then given the Superdome option which turned into a horror and a nightmare.

She has working phones, a gas stove and somehow water - including showers. She wants the mayor to meet with folks to tell them why they have to leave because the alternatives are not acceptable.

Not sure whose side I'm on here. A lot of gray area, just like life.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Boot to the Head Awards

Some interesting nominees from last week (doesn't Pat Robertson's foot-in-mouth seem so long ago after the week we've been through).

Briefly, the non-hurricane nominees were: those who schedule committee meetings during Sunday School hour, those families who skip the church retreat, and those folks who do not come to worship because it is outside, in a different place.

Then you had our hurricane nominees: Michael Brown, the people who did not evacuate out of arrogance, FEMA, the Red Cross (although I have been better informed now about why they were not initially present and would like to retract them as a nominee. Apparantly Homeland Security was not allowing them to go into New Orleans), generally all of the folks we took turns yelling at our tv screens at last week were nominated.

Looking at all the nominees, I believe our Boot to the Head Award must go to the hurricane itself. Too bad we cannot physically punch it back. The best we can do is stand up and brush ourselves off after such a brutal potential knock out blow.

Who is your nominee for this week?

Monday, September 05, 2005

Breathe Deep...

Good morning to all but especially to my new gal blog pals. Everyone in church leadership was on my heart yesterday. It is amazing how a community of folks that I only met about 2 weeks ago were embedded in my thoughts and my prayers. I know you only by nicknames: songbird, the reverends mother and mommy, quotodian grace, first year, etc... and yet you all were on my heart.

I pray that the Holy Spirit continues to work through the Words and Worship of yesterday.

I pray that today is a day of respite and deep breathes and renewal; whether that renewal comes from a nap, a good book, quiet time, or friends and family.

I pray for all of you, good and faithful servants. Well done.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Where ARE they?

Just a brief note to say thank you to Kathleen Koch a reporter for CNN this morning who said:
CNN deployed us in Mobile over the weekend so that we were in these towns by Tuesday. How come the Red Cross and FEMA did not do the same? The first Red Cross person I saw was on Thursday... (end paraphrase)

Did anyone see Harry Connick Jr. on NBC this morning (less importantly, Yum-Me). He was in Baton Rouge at the time and as emphatically as he could with a very hoarse voice was saying that he could bring a car load of water to the convention center right now. He could drive it right in, but they will not let him because of 'danger'. He said when he walked in there he expected to be mugged or shot the way everyone was talking, but instead people were just looking up at him asking for help.


And will someone please get the FEMA guy, Mike Brown, off the tv and doing somethign besides interviews.Don't you have a publicity guy for that?!

Alright... not so brief, but I needed to rant before I could finish the bulletin and head to sermon. DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO PREACH ON THIS WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A SCREAMING LIBERAL?!?! (Although Tim Russert did say that conservatives are incensed at the poor planning and mismanaged rescue efforts as well).

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Can she BE any more self-centered?

Just a brief post to let anyone who reads this know that I am not oblivious to the major crises that are going on around us. Hurricane Katrina's aftermath is mind boggling and atrocious. I am merely biding my time until I find a concrete way to help because I am guessing that yelling at the tv screen at looters and slow moving officials is not exactly "getting 'er done".

And the loss of life in Iraq from the stampede is disgusting and the continued violence in South Africa makes my stomach hurl...

In the meantime I was hit with a personal mini-crisis and I was using this forum to vent. Today I make some un-fun phone calls. Please in the midst of your prayers for the global nightmare, throw one in for kj and her 'friendly church in the country'.